This might be my last chance So maybe I should take it I just hope you're listening To everything I'm saying I miss the long drives, the car rides The bad fights, the good times The way you make me feel Will never leave my mind Think of you later in my empty room Where I, I will fall asleep alone Think of you later in my empty room Where I, I will fall asleep alone
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Written on: Monday, January 29, 2007 Time: 5:16 AM
Chinwen said blogging is smth like doing your own reflections for the day, ohwells, I guessed so.
Maybe it wasn't your fault. You had your own rights on doing what you want and like. I can't control you, you're not my pet or whatever. You're just a normal person, a friend; or maybe even a good friend. I don't know, my mind is in a swirl now.
We were watching Amazing Stories the other day at the English room and there was this story about not being too possessive over smth or someone. I guess it's true. Being too possessive over someone, and you will end up hurting yourself. It's not like I want this to happen right. You can go arnd telling others and they will come to me asking me why I did that. It's not a good feeling to have everyone coming to you and asking you questions as if it's your fault. A few times, I almost cried. Don't make yourself sound so pathetic and everything, you're not the only one who's hurt. I'm not feeling good either. You're not weak and you're not meant to be bullied. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like a joke but please, don't take every single word for real, it's silly.
Don't come running to me only when you need me or when you have no one to talk to. And when you have them, you ignore me totally and take it as if I'm transparent. Walking past, laughing and giggling away, what was that suppose to mean? I think maybe you yourself, don't even have the answer. A few times, I wanted to walk over but it would be so out of place and weird.
And please, I'm not pissed or angry. Maybe I'm shouldn't take it all out on you. Maybe it was my mistake, my bad character, my bad habit, all my fault. I really don't know what you want. Sometimes, you're here by me all the while, and I'm really grateful. But sometimes, you just disappear to nowhere when you have them. I can tell you that it's terrible inside. You can call it jealousy maybe? Ohwells.
Alright, thought it over and I'm gonna learn to let go, and maybe let go of everything? Ha easier said than done. I don't wanna let this these crap bother me anymore, I know it's not worth it. I want to quit and leave this game, it's tiring, very tiring. You can go on with the game, but leave me out please. I'll just live each day as it is, trying to feel numb towards everything. How I wished I could be just as innocent and ignorant, without knowing anything so all these wouldn't have happened and things would stay the same. After everything, I'm definitely not saying it's all your fault, I have my mistakes too.
Why must something happen after another? Things were starting to turn out fine this side but at the other side, things were horrible. Why must we all have problems? Can we lead a beautiful life without all these? I know the answer is no and it's silly to do so but I still hope that it'll happen.
You must be thinking why I'm like this when you did nothing. Ha, frankly speaking, I don't even know what I'm saying, maybe stress and many things have been affecting and bothering me too much recently. And lastly, I'm sorry. Behind the crowd, there she is at the corner weeping.
Written on: Monday, January 29, 2007 Time: 5:16 AM
Chinwen said blogging is smth like doing your own reflections for the day, ohwells, I guessed so.
Maybe it wasn't your fault. You had your own rights on doing what you want and like. I can't control you, you're not my pet or whatever. You're just a normal person, a friend; or maybe even a good friend. I don't know, my mind is in a swirl now.
We were watching Amazing Stories the other day at the English room and there was this story about not being too possessive over smth or someone. I guess it's true. Being too possessive over someone, and you will end up hurting yourself. It's not like I want this to happen right. You can go arnd telling others and they will come to me asking me why I did that. It's not a good feeling to have everyone coming to you and asking you questions as if it's your fault. A few times, I almost cried. Don't make yourself sound so pathetic and everything, you're not the only one who's hurt. I'm not feeling good either. You're not weak and you're not meant to be bullied. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like a joke but please, don't take every single word for real, it's silly.
Don't come running to me only when you need me or when you have no one to talk to. And when you have them, you ignore me totally and take it as if I'm transparent. Walking past, laughing and giggling away, what was that suppose to mean? I think maybe you yourself, don't even have the answer. A few times, I wanted to walk over but it would be so out of place and weird.
And please, I'm not pissed or angry. Maybe I'm shouldn't take it all out on you. Maybe it was my mistake, my bad character, my bad habit, all my fault. I really don't know what you want. Sometimes, you're here by me all the while, and I'm really grateful. But sometimes, you just disappear to nowhere when you have them. I can tell you that it's terrible inside. You can call it jealousy maybe? Ohwells.
Alright, thought it over and I'm gonna learn to let go, and maybe let go of everything? Ha easier said than done. I don't wanna let this these crap bother me anymore, I know it's not worth it. I want to quit and leave this game, it's tiring, very tiring. You can go on with the game, but leave me out please. I'll just live each day as it is, trying to feel numb towards everything. How I wished I could be just as innocent and ignorant, without knowing anything so all these wouldn't have happened and things would stay the same. After everything, I'm definitely not saying it's all your fault, I have my mistakes too.
Why must something happen after another? Things were starting to turn out fine this side but at the other side, things were horrible. Why must we all have problems? Can we lead a beautiful life without all these? I know the answer is no and it's silly to do so but I still hope that it'll happen.
You must be thinking why I'm like this when you did nothing. Ha, frankly speaking, I don't even know what I'm saying, maybe stress and many things have been affecting and bothering me too much recently. And lastly, I'm sorry. Behind the crowd, there she is at the corner weeping.
